Community and Counseling

Community and Counseling

 

Gospel Centered Counseling - Christian Counseling - Community in Counseling

Our culture has flipped the purpose of community and counselor’s on their head. Today, it is expected that when you visit a counselor, you should be able to expect some level of healing, if not complete restoration. While our culture teaches us that community should be a place where you get a little help here and there with practical things like moving. But Christ sets things right-side up again. He points out that the body is meant to be the support system and the counselor a small part in healing.

Romans 12:4-6: “For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them…”

When the body feels a “pain” or is sick, the counselor helps direct the body in healing itself by giving a blueprint for healing. That’s his gift, connecting people to the Creator’s plan for healing. Each of the roles serve a purpose, but together as a whole community, a person finds healing.

In counseling, a person is looking for healing and restoration. They go to the counselor, mistakenly expecting the counselor to provide that healing. The counselor then has to point them to Christ to find healing. Scripture shows us that Christ reveals himself in community. If we want to see the healer of all wounds, we have to meet him where he reveals himself to be.

Hebrews 10:24 “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

A Healing Community

Being gathered in Christ’s name is the key to a healing community. However, just going to church and sitting in a seat listening to a sermon and some songs and then going home is not what meeting in His name means. Being gathered in Christ’s name means making an effort to represent Christ. When the body is focused on representing Christ, healing comes naturally.

A pastor I’m close to recently said, “Sunday mornings just aren’t enough.” Sunday mornings are a great START to being a community. It gives us an opportunity to reorient our hearts to focus on Christ. But it’s not enough. We need to be in regular community throughout the week with people who are meeting in Christ’s name.

Are you hurting? Is there pain in your life? Then seek out a counselor or pastor, but don’t neglect finding a community of Christ-followers who meet in His name. Don’t cut yourself off from the body that will be where you find the most healing.

 

Travis Stockton is a counselor with Lafayette Community Church in Lafayette Indiana. He graduated from Grace College Magna Cum Laude with a B.A. in Counseling and Bible and obtained his M.A. in Pastoral Counseling from Liberty University. He is married to a woman full of grace and the father of two children.

Freedom from Addiction: Pornography

Freedom from Addiction: Pornography

Sex permeates our society. It’s used to sell everything from internet service providers to sandwiches. So, when we talk about addictions, pornography is one addiction that is easy to point to. Unfortunately, it’s easy to point to because it’s such a problem in today’s society and church. It’s a weed that grows out of our selfishness and takes over God’s garden that we were intended to care for.

As a preteen, I was exposed to pornography and quickly found myself addicted. I was powerless to overcome it. I found that the more I dove into the addiction, the less I valued myself and my addiction. It became an endless cycle of depravity inspiring more depravity. While I could not stop my tail-spin into sin, Christ lifted me up out of it when I accepted that His will for my life was better than my own.

If you don’t understand how addictions work, you might want to read an introduction to the dichotomy of addictions. Here’s the application of the dichotomy of addictions to pornography. Initially, pornography begins growing it’s roots into a person’s life through the biological stimulus it provides. But like a weed, it quickly adapts itself to grow into whatever soil it finds in the soul. Some men seek comfort while some women seek companionship. Pornography adapts itself to be whatever the person wants it to be then takes control of the individual.

Weeding - Addictions - Pornography - Gospel Centered Counseling
Image courtesy of studyprayserve.com.

Victory in Christ

Let me share with you some practical ways the Gospel has freed me and continues to free me.Gospel Centered Counseling - Love God Love Porn

1. Love God: Embracing my love of God, allowed me to let go of my love for porn. Loving God more than porn was what gave me the ability to step away from that which separated me from God.

1. Removing the weed: Some call it radical amputation and is based on Matthew 5:27-30. The principle is to remove any opportunity for the weed of lust to grow. For me it meant not being on the computer any more than I had to be, stop watching t.v., and avoid going down certain aisles in the grocery store.

2. Produce Fruit: Producing fruit means we replace the weed with something that actually produces fruit; prayer, Bible study, fellowship, or serving all work. For me, Bible study and prayer were what produced the fruit that I valued more than porn.

4. Seek out that seed: What started it all? Abuse, self-image issues, loneliness, boredom, grief? Find even this seed and replace it with the seed of truth. You are a new creation, filled with The Holy Spirit, and created for a higher purpose!

 

Victory in Christ is accepting that while the temptation may still be there,

Christ is more desirable and fulfilling than your addiction.

Freedom from Addiction: The Dichotomy

Freedom From Addiction: The Dichotomy

As a teenager, I had found myself seeking self-identity and self-pleasure in a number of addictions; food, pornography, and video games were a few of those I sought solace in from the pain of the world around me. It wasn’t just a place to enjoy myself, it was a place to escape the harsh realities of the world that I didn’t know how to deal with. When I was sad, lonely, or even just seeking a bit of adrenaline to get me through the next 24 hours, I’d indulge in an addiction, usually more than one repeatedly. Pornography was one of the more harmful addictions I had. But Christ has freed me from those. Today, I get to celebrate the freedom in Christ I so desperately needed.

Freedom in Christ - Gospel Centered Counseling - Addictions - Dichotomy

 

Every counselor has an assumption or many assumptions of what makes up a human being. These assumptions then translate into how they seek solutions to the issues we deal with as human beings. As a Gospel Centered Counselor, my assumptions are the following:

  1. We are both body and soul (physical and non-physical).
  2. We were created for eternal perfection in mind.
  3. We turned away from God’s design and embraced our own autonomy through sin.
  4. Sin’s hold on us is broken through faith in Christ.

These four basic assumptions shape how I deal with addiction as a counselor. Every addiction has a reason that it is an addiction for someone. For some, it’s primarily a physical addiction. Consider smoking as an example. Smoking often is rooted in a biological response to nicotine. However, just because our body is the primary factor in the addiction, doesn’t mean that there are not spiritual factors involved. Nervousness, boredom, a desire to be accepted by other people, etc. can all supplement a biological drive for addiction that all have to be dealt with.

Gospel Centered Counseling - Addictions - Smoking

But some addictions are rooted in a spiritual cause. For example, the addiction to pornography, while a response to physical stimulus, often draws a person into the addiction ever deeper with a false promise of self-fulfillment, joy, or significance. In these instances, it is the biological factor that is secondary to the spiritual component. In these addictions, a person must deal with issues of the heart to break free from the addiction, whereas primarily biological addictions don’t require digging into the heart to break free.

The good news is, whether the addiction is biological or spiritual, Christ came to break us free from all addictions that we would love Christ with all our heart and our bodies. If you are reading this and struggling with addiction, know the power Christ has to free you from it. You have only to submit to Him to be free!

 

 

The Freedom We Had: The Freedom We Need

The Freedom We Had: The Freedom We Need

Liberty and the Gospel - Gospel Centered Counseling

 

Tomorrow is the 4th of July; a holiday often celebrated because of the hard-fought liberty that we won from an oppressive and tyrannical government. A holiday that commemorates the lives lost in pursuit of something our county had come to know spiritually through freedom in Christ, but needed to experience on a civic level to grow in our faith. July 4, 1776 was the day that we declared with the Declaration of Independence, that we would not be ruled by an oppressive government and would not submit to laws and rules that infringed on the freedoms given by God himself. We were a stronger people then. We cared and loved a lot differently than we do now.

Fast forward to tomorrow. Tomorrow we celebrate the 4th of July for our 239th time. Tomorrow, we will shoot off fireworks, dance in streets, and let the holiday go down with a burger, and perhaps a cold beverage or two. But the freedom this holiday once stood for has been flipped onto it’s head. No longer are we celebrating the freedom from a tyrannical and oppressive government, but now we celebrate the freedom from morality; from religion.

 

In light of the Supreme Court’s ruling on Obergefell v. Hodges, we can fairly say, without any panic or horror, that we have traded the freedom we had, for the freedom from religion. But as Christians, the reality is neither one of these forms of freedom is the freedom our country needs. The freedom needed is the freedom that our country was founded on from the very beginning; freedom in Christ.

The freedom we had as a nation to practice our faith as we saw fit, now is being replaced with a government that increasingly will dictate to all people how they are to live their lives. But we as Christians have something that is still worth celebrating; it’s the freedom we need. Freedom in Christ means that no matter how oppressive our government is or will be, we can live with love in our hearts. We can have hope for the future, because in the end, all will be made right. Because in the end, all those who believe will be set free.

This fourth of July, do not despair! Rejoice in the freedom Christ has provided. Shoot off fireworks, dance in the streets, and enjoy that burger and cold beverage. And perhaps this holiday, while the world continues to seek hope in empty pits of darkness, maybe…just maybe we’ll allow our lives as Christians to light up the night sky with a brilliance of colors, that draws people’s attention with love, and shakes the earth with a resounding sound of celebration. Let’s live out our mission, and shine our light for the world to see!

 

 

Devotions for Kids: Which Bible Do We Use?

Devotions For Kids: Which Bible Do We Use?

My children are still young enough that they can show me how old they are with just their hands. Yet, despite their age, we have managed to read all the way through at least three Children’s Bibles. The very act of sitting down for devotions with a child can be daunting for some, so asking the question, “Which Bible do we use?” can often be the last question on someone’s mind. Yet, it’s a rather important decision.

If you’re reading your children the King James Version (KJV) and they are as young as my children are, you may want to reconsider you’re answer to this question! If you’re reading a children’s storybook Bible to a boy who is itching his first chin-hairs, you might want to reconsider. And if you’ve read through the Bible you are using with them and the stories or morals of the story are considerably different than what you understood them to be, you may want to reconsider. Let me give you a few suggestions.

First, if your children are young, use a storybook Bible. They can condense large portions of scripture into simplified stories that they can understand. This is important if they are going to get the message of each story. This will allow truths to be conveyed, and young hearts to be impacted, without a lot of definitions, and advanced theology courses.

Second, if your children are old enough to tie their shoes, start giving them small doses of a real Bible translation. I’d encourage that you use a version that your whole family can be comfortable with, as it’ll simplify Bible memorization and catechisms if you do those sorts of things. Even if you don’t do those things, it’ll still be easier for you to answer any of their questions if you’re using the same version.

Finally, whatever Bible you choose to use, make sure you help them get excited about the stories by asking questions, thinking through the story with them, and maybe even using more than just one tone when reading the stories to them. In other words, brush up on your acting skills and make it fun!

My Suggestions

For children under six, I’d recommend The Jesus Story Book Bible. The illustrations within this Storybook Bible are very well done, the stories all point back to Christ, and they are Gospel-saturated. I’d highly recommend this Bible. We are on our third time through this Bible, and we still all enjoy it!

For children who can tie their shoes, buy them a copy of the The ESV Children’s Bible and encourage them (gently) to read portions of it (or read it with them)! Get them used to reading it regularly. As they get older, make a habit of asking them what they are reading about in their devotions or if they have any questions about what they are reading.

The ESV is just our family’s preference. We prefer a translation a little closer to the word for word translation while still having a modern sound to it. It’s a good blend for us. So, let me ask you! What Bible do you use for your children?

Obergefell v. Hodges and The Gospel

Obergefell v. Hodges and The Gospel

The internet is ablaze right now. Everyone is weighing in on the SCOTUS’s ruling on Obergefell v. Hodges. Some are responding in joyous celebration. Others are saddened, but unphased. While another group is proclaiming gloom and doom. But what does the Gospel have to say about it?

Obergefell v Hodges SCOTUS
Image courtesy of: http://www.lambdalegal.org/blog/20150227_6-things-to-know-about-todays-scotus-marriage-brief

Man

God created man (and women) in his image. Everyone who is a human being is made in God’s image. Each of us is born with an essential nature that reflects a portion of who God is; both the Christian and non-believer (including the homosexual). Therefore, each individual needs to be treated with love and respect.

But man has rebelled. Man has pumped their first in the air and said, “I’m not going to listen to you, if you’re even there!” We have become God’s enemy. Not just the homosexual, but you as well; yes YOU! So, while homosexuality is a sin, you too have sinned. And before you begin to perform surgery on that splinter in your neighbors eye, please make sure you’ve removed the log in your own eye.

Christ

I’m in desperate need of saving. Not just that one time when I accepted Christ, but every day. There are times I look at a beautiful woman and commit adultery in my heart. There are times I grow angry enough that I should be considered guilty of murder. I’m in desperate need. And so are you; yes YOU!

God knew this even from the beginning. While his permissive will allowed us to choose to rebel, it was not his declaritive will. He did not want us to disassociate ourselves from him, but rather than do nothing while we turned our backs on him, He stepped down from his throne where he was worshipped by angels and had an infinite power at his disposal, and became vulnerable. He entered into our world and despite the darkness and sin, he took on flesh that he might die a gruesome death and restore us to him.

Dear Christian, if you know of someone in any sin, whether it’s homosexuality or adultery, are you willing to die to bring them into a restored relationship with God? If not, you’re not fully embracing your role as an ambassador of Christ. Dear sinner, do you know anyone who will love you this much? If not, I’d love to introduce you to someone who does!

Hope

Know that today is a day to rejoice! Don’t let the news cause you to forget that Christ didn’t stay in the tomb! HE IS ALIVE! Truth couldn’t be held down! If you follow Christ, you already know who wins!

If you are celebrating the decision of the SCOTUS in Obergefell v. Hodges, know there is a better reason to rejoice! Forgiveness of our sins is ours for the taking! No matter your response to the Obergefell v. Hodges case, all your joy can multiply exponentially if you begin to embrace the hope already given!

 

The Gospel: What It Is!

The Gospel: What It Is!

What is the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Greg Gilbert, in his book, What is the Gospel*, explains that this is not as easy to define as one might think. He shows how there are so many definitions of what the Gospel is, that it is nearly impossible to find common ground that would fit with all the different views. Based on Gilbert’s book, we will try to give a brief explanation of the basics we hold regarding the Gospel of Jesus Christ.[1]

Gilbert summarizes the Gospel with four words: God, man, Christ, and response. Each of these then is to be extended to explain the Gospel. He uses the four words to help elaborate on the gospel in a simple overview that is easily remembered. It’s very reminiscent of Propoganda’s G.O.S.P.E.L. video, as seen below.

what is the gospel by greg gilbert

The first of these words, “God”, is used to describe who God is. As creator, God is the ultimate authority, the one to whom all are held accountable to. One cannot claim relative truth at the throne of God, for God is the absolute truth. And it is by His truth that mankind will be measured against. And where we are found lacking, He will demand an accounting. He created all things, owns all things, and thus is authoritative over all things.[2] He is righteous, holy, and loving.[3]

“Man” is then used to describe who we are in relationship to God. God, being perfectly self-sufficient within the trinity, did not need to create man. However, He chose to create man and to invite mankind into the eternal, blissful relationship with himself through the person of Jesus Christ. But man rebelled and sought his own identity outside of the trinity. Man rejected God’s authority and because of this rebellion, God separated man from the perfect existence He had created for man. Man’s sin became inherent, a natural part of our nature. Sin’s effects were only the subsequent issue, sin being the primary issue at hand.[4]

In order to deal with that sin nature inherent in all of humanity, God decided to take it upon him self to deal with sin. He came in the person of Christ, to sacrifice his life for the salvation of all who would believe on His name.[5] Only an infinitely perfect being could possibly atone for the nearly infinite sin of mankind. Without this sacrifice, mankind was doomed to eternal death.[6]

As a result of Christ’s sacrifice, mankind has been freed to live according to the plan God has established for mankind. And it is only in this plan that mankind will ever find true happiness. For we were slaves to sin, but now are free to live according to the plan God established, in part, for our own benefit. God expects our submission to his rule and authority in contrast to Adam’s rejection of such authority.[7]

Everything listed above are the basic tenants of the Gospel. However, the Gospel is not limited to the good news for justification (a right standing before God that one might gain entrance into heaven), but is also intended for sanctification (the process of becoming more like Christ).[8] Within the gospel, we find the basic problem we face in all of our other troubles: sin. Sin separates us from God, separates us from others, and separates us from ever truly being who God created us to be. It is when sin is overcome that the issues in life (marriage issues, parenting issues, ect.) are defeated and all issues fade away. However, the final “overcoming” of sin by Christ is not to come until we reach heaven. In the mean time, we are meant to work towards the coming of His kingdom, the overcoming of sin in His creation and to seek out his reign in His creation. This is the basis of Gospel Centered Counseling.

*Greg Gilbert’s book, What is the Gospel? is an excellent resource. It does a fantastic job of  defining, in depth, what the Gospel is. If you’re interested in reading it, feel free to pick it up via our Amazon affiliate link below.

[1] Greg Gilbert, What Is the Gospel? (Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway, 2010).

[2] Ibid., 31.

[3] Exodus 34:6-7; Habakkuk 1:13; Psalm 11:7; 33:5; 89:14; 97:2.

[4] Gilbert, What Is the Gospel?, 42.

[5] Galatians 2:16.

[6] Romans 3:23; 6:23.

[7] Psalm 145:11, 13; Romans 6:4-13; 1 Thessalonians 2:12.

[8] Romans 1:16-17; 1 Corinthians 1:18.